So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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