Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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