Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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