Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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