He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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