i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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