i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
