He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
