Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
