Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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