Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
