Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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