i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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