Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Randomize
