If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
