you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
