Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
