Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
