im drinking this country out of the recession.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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