My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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