lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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