Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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