i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
