There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
