I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
