Porn is love you can see.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
