I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
