no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
