I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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