It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
