Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
