he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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