we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize