brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
