How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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