Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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