nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
