Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
did i walk over a car last night?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
