Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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