Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
