How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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