When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
