And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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