the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
