Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
