Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
