I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
