how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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