new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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