I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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