So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
