forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
