Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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