If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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