You made me cry and you don't even care
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
