I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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