Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
