I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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