I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
