My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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