Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
