Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
