Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
