Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
