That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
