Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm like, not good at living.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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